Post MTUK 2016

Post MTUK 2016

This time last week many of us were getting ready for Leeds First Friday, the day before the MTUK Final, perhaps staying out later than we ought, me in particular having ‘bounced’ whilst dancing to Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves in the Viaduct Show Bar.

Managed to hobble bare foot back to the Marriott where I burst into tears, called 999, who called me a taxi which took me off to hospital.

I was discharged about 6 after x-rays showed nothing wrong, but the doc said everything in my lumbar spine was overly sensitive and swollen.

Cab back to the hotel where I managed a few hours sleep before breakfast shortly before 11, eggs benedict without the benedict, which I forgot to pay for, but DID the next morning.

The rest of the day was pretty much a blurr, even once downstairs for initial photographs, I can recall foreign visitors taking plenty of photos with their phones, Global visibility of what ??

Some how I remained calm, I had been since the monday before, then we were ready for rehearsals, just a simple intro, or have I got this the wrong way around, probably, I’m only human !!

Before we knew it we were back stage ready for Q&A, then we passed in the corridors whilst getting ready for Performance, and then Pageant, the only time we were all together was back stage, the rest is actually quite lonely, not like it’s portrayed on TV. I struggled with the lights and mirror trying to get dramatic make-up done, but from what I’ve seen of the videos I managed quite well.

My first round went well, even had standing ovations from some when I mentioned that the EA2010 doesn’t offer us the protection many think it does as it sits in Civil and NOT criminal law, with NO legal aid, this is something I’m passionate about and will be doing my best to get changed.

My performance was a disaster from start to finish, I hadn’t briefed the sound person properly, not had things where I needed them. YES  my whip skills came through, with some cheers and gasps, but timing of the rest let me down. To ambitious and not enough time. Managed to get in one chorus of You Can Get It If You Really Want, then my voice went and the music was cut.

That said, I’ve been praised for my guts going on stage looking like a tall Liza Minelli dressed in a black latex dress pushing the boundaries, AND part of it made the video. Can’t wait to see all the pictures.

Now I’ve seen a video of the final parade I’m surprised I wasn’t flat on my back, I was walking so badly, and realised I’d pretty much gone 36 hours without sleep, of with broken sleep, talk about break a leg, it was almost break a back, or damage an already broken back !!

I’m sure many of us are disappointed with the results, some being very vocal about it, and personally attacking others, well we’re all entitled to our opinions, but I really don’t feel it was in keeping with the MTUK ethos to be so publicly outspoken, I’d rather personal messages were exchanged, or dealt with face to face.

One I got home and before bed I tore myself to pieces, thought I’d made an horrendous mistake and tarnished MTUK, just goes to show I wasn’t ready to be thrust into the limelight as MTUK winner, and HOPE she does loads of work on our behalf and includes other entrants in that aim, somehow I have my doubts.

I’ve struggled all week, but have managed a few chores, which have worked out well, and now we’re seeing the press coverage I’m so glad I entered.

Would I do it again ?? HELL YES, it was such an experience, and I pretty much have a performance ready, I just didn’t get to use it this year, again, MY fault.

It’s clear Rachael’s health, marriage and life are her priorities now, I just hope we can find people who are willing to work together and take it forward, only the coming weeks will tell, and I’ll be honest, I’d like to be part of that, BUT, I can’t become another Rachael, we need 6 or so people to make it happen properly.

There are offers fro rachael, £5k for a non-committee, or £1k to a committee, cold hard facts, £150 each for 7 and we’d have a little more working capital, we become shareholders in a Limited Company then work out how to restructure etc.

I’ll not dwell on this, only to say there IS interest in an event next year, I believe 4 so far, so we almost have one heat numbers !!

For me I need to find out what my normality is, that changed when I came 1st runner up in my heat, life became MTUK, the rest was an aside, now I need to flip it, getting on with sorting out my flat, having major clearouts to rid myself of years of hoarding, mainly broken items I’d planned to fix, I can’t live like that any more. I’ve cleared out many things, but haven’t really scratched the surface, I just survive day to day.

I need to sell my car, my balance problems show no sign of subsiding, though I’ve been assessed and apparently my balance systems are working fine, but that’s whilst I’m standing still, it when I move that I have problems. I have an appointment with ENT on 1st September, maybe they can give me some hope and that there’s nothing seriously wrong, or what is wrong can be fixed.

I’m surprised by the positivity toward me and amazing comments people say to me, I’m just being me, and that seems to suit people very well. This is the complete flip to my previous life, and it’s taking some getting used to, but get used to it I will !!

I’m planning to get down to Hampshire to spend time with friends over the weekend, just hope Southern Railways doesn’t let me down !!

Croydon is holding it’s first Pridefest, so I’m hoping to get involved with that, though I’m not holding out a lot of hope, it seems more gay/bi/lesbian oriented with little on trans, which could be such a missed opportunity. MAY just have to put up my flag pole on my mobility scooter, fly my rainbow heart flag, and hijack wherever I can, though to be honest I’d rather support a friend, but then again I owe it to MY community to try and get at least a Croydon Based meeting going outside of the Transpals one, maybe in my local area, or at least closer to home. Doesn’t need to have a web site, make promises that can’t be met, etc, just support for one another at a local and personal level, grass roots if you like. Small and manageable, and not overly complicated.

To close I’d like to thank everyone for their support and encouragement, those who made it to Leeds, those who keep MTUK running, please, don’t forget it needs regular funds to stay alive, so if you can please commit regular monthly amounts via bank transfer or similar, it saves such a headache when money gets tight and expenses loom.


Tills xox



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